Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Crowd around, don’t be shy, and welcome!
WELCOME TO THE GREAT FIRST CUSTOMER PIN REVEAL!
THIS is the moment you’ve waited so long for. Think back to the halcyon days of March 2021. Back to the debut of ENIAC and the gold ENIAC First Customer Pin. From that moment, those that subscribe to the BAD IDEA faith across the globe have asked, in one resounding voice, only one question: “How the hell does BAD IDEA make any business sense? I mean, it’s got to be a giant meta joke right?”
Well, we heard you.
And today we’re ready to answer the question…by answering a completely different question. The question behind the question. You see, BAD IDEA’s real business is actually…cryptocurrency! Makes total sense right? Suddenly everything fits! And because the geniuses at BAD IDEA Labs (literally the same people in every other job at BAD IDEA) (Also, the same people who write these emails) (There’s like 5 of us at BAD IDEA, okay? Calm down!) (And Bobby…) (Who is annoying and right now is explaining to us that this is not how you use parentheses. We know Bobby!) aren’t content to simply use an idea, they innovated. Disrupted even! The BAD IDEA cryptocurrency isn’t crypto at all. It’s physical. And it takes the form of the First Customer Pin.
We’ll pause here so you can pick up the pieces of your mind-blown brains.
To recap, BAD IDEA has invented its own currency. A kind of BAD IDEA bucks. It’s 100% illegal tender, non-transferrable, has no intrinsic value but is a physical object and is gold colored! But the best part is, just like real money, you can spend it!
Every so often, we’ll announce an opportunity – could be an item, an experience, a live event or some such accoutrement – that is avaliable exclusively via the expenditure of First Customer Pins. These opportunities will be limited, avaliable for very short periods of time and exclusively for those BAD IDEA-sters who possess a First Customer Pin. (aren’t you glad you camped outside your store all night now?)
But be warned, if you choose to procure one of the incredible opportunities we provide you will forfeityour First Customer Pin. And we will do everything in our power to make you regret it by creating an even more incredible-er opportunity next! But enough about tomorrow’s First Customer Pin opportunities, let’s focus on what’s avaliable today.
Today, we’d like to announce the very first BAD IDEA First Customer Pin opportunity:
TWO BRAND-NEW, ALL-ORIGINAL BAD IDEA COMICS – WEREWOLF and RETIREMENT PLAN.